It’s been a year today. One year since we were told our baby’s heart had stopped unexpectedly...twice. One year. One year of replaying that night in my head over and over. One year of the slightest thought of that night making my breath catch, my heart race, and my mind panic. I wish I could tell you the whole story. I wish I could share the details of what happened that night. I wish I could tell you what was discussed in meetings in the days that followed. Some day I will. What I can tell you is that Josh and I are not the same individuals, parents, or spouses that we were before the codings. I can tell you that we are more cognizant of our borrowed time with our sweet girl. I can tell you we’ve had many sobering conversations about “when” and not “if.” I can also tell you that I’m forever grateful for the nurses that were there for us that night and the next couple days. I can tell you that I saw compassionate nurses share in our struggles through September. I can tell you I was (and forever will be) thankful for Kelley and Kayla and CR, amongst others. One year. One year since our world crashed down. One year since the night we thought we’d never get through. We made it. We’re here. We’re still standing - even if just barely - a year later.